Mistake or a Mis-take?

We know the rhetoric, but what do we actually do when we make a mistake…especially when it has repercussions beyond ourself?

I recently experienced this. I made a mistake that, like a pebble in a pond, reverberated in various directions of my life. 

Initially there was a time of shock where I was trying to fathom just what had occurred. I then went into a state of denial and a bit of quiet blame. My next default position was to ‘attack’ - to push out the reverberations and try to disperse the responsibility from myself. Alongside this I was also in mitigation mode - what could I do to minimise the impact? I then quickly moved into self blame and a whole heap of self-flagellation. Finally I came through to a more conscious thought-processing mode and was able to see a way forward. PHEW!

There are two powerful awareness techniques I like to use when self-situating. 

Kübler-Ross reconfigured the grief cycle around the stages someone goes through during a change process and I think it has merit in this context.

Kubler Ross chnage curve.png

The second frame I like to use to self-situate when going through turmoil comes from the field of counselling - the Emotions Tree. At any one point of my experience, I can locate where I am on the tree… even if it is hanging on by the skin of my teeth; albeit self-drawn ;-).

emotions tree.jpg

All I can say is “Thank Goodness I’m Human!!”

I noticed my patterns of behaviour.

I noticed my default positions.

I noticed the journey I went through.

I noticed how long it took me to work my way through.

I noticed who helped me along the journey.

I noticed what they did.

And I also noticed how long this turn-around would’ve taken me ten years ago.

… And guess what..?

Im real!


As you go forward into this coming week consider…

  • What are your defaults when the proverbial hits the fan?

  • How would you map and timeline your journey?

  • What holds you in one place or helps you to get unstuck?

  • What do you need to do for yourself when in this situation?

  • What might you call-on from others?

  • When might the word ‘sorry’ need to be used?

Go well :-)


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